you will speak before kings and judges

March 31, 2015 § Leave a comment

but you will first begin by speaking at a pizzeria full of church people and happy drunk folks.

how the story would have unfolded had i prepared/actually read my notes:

hong kong, may 2010. i was in kowloon, walking along the enormous expansion of sky & water, carrying a monologue, asking this question to myself: what is life wort​h? what difference does one’s life make? it felt so easy to forget about the people and community i had built in the east bay, to be erased from & erase relationships, to live anonymously in a city half way across the globe where no one knows you. what lasting impact was i capable of having on the earth?

no answers then. all i remember is a vague sense of how lonely ​life can be, not because no one loves you, but because you can’t find the one to love. lonely because you don’t know the object of your all-​consuming desire. the entire time that God was pouring his love into me, wastefully and extravagantly, he was moving me to ask the question of how i could ever relate to another being in the way he had related to me.

​fast forward four years & seven months. here i was. kolkata region one. past 10pm or so. on our way back to lee memorial mission school in the back of an auto. kolkata was one giant hot mess of people urinating and yelling, cars honking​ and zigzag​ing through bumper to bumper traffic with every color and light and decibel and scent imaginable. « Read the rest of this entry »

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