growing pain

November 18, 2011 § Leave a comment

actually, more appropriate is growth spurt

when youre in that prime age of cells going through mitosis — bones and sinews and muscles growing growing growing — mothers repeat that old saying, growing hurts. i dont recall really if ive ever went through much of that pain, perhaps obvious in my five feet and an inch or two stature. the concept is so very prophetic to me though, birth pain. its a physical and visible sign of something unseen yet to come. but it sure will happen; you feel the pain to prove it!

im that kid again, twelve years old. this time i feel the multiplications in my mind, explosions of ideas mingling with other ideas giving birth to new ideas five billion times more complicated and beautiful. its the moment of reckoning that something awe-some is coming. i cant quite picture the fullness of this monster or genius or both. but i see the subtle and tiny points of no return. who can say at what point the blob of cells is a living creature (lets not get into the mississippi ballot measure now)? during which specific lecture have i realized my revolutionary potential? by what non fiction reading for pleasure have i begun to see the lies in capitalism? in whose voices have i heard the voice of God that this world and the life as we know it are sick and dying, evil? that they are so not necessarily by a conscious choice but by compliance? the very opposite of a conscious choice to fight and struggle and go against the stream, the powers that be, the principalities of heavenly realms?

answer or no answer, i am growing. my mind is growing. just as the journey on a motorcycle through latin america has changed ernesto to che, what has begun seven years ago as a casual read of a book with nothing casual about it continues to change me into someone i dont recognize yet. soon the mitosis will stop, a full blown monster/genius, and we will know on which rock we stand

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