April 3, 2010 § Leave a comment

i know work shouldnt equal life. for different reasons. you dont want to identify yourself with what you do. spiritually its not healthy, who you are isnt what you do. physically and emotionally its not healthy. you need to separate business and personal times. take some days off and go ride bikes. dont bring more work home. it makes sense. professionally, you shouldnt take things personal. if you get “constructive criticism,” its not against you. keep your professional and personal things separate. boundaries. you dont cross those lines. its for your own good.
but what if what you do as a day job, to make money and pay the bills, is what you believe in? what if what you do day to day, no matter how mundane it seems and insignificant in the grander scheme of “God’s will,” has a direct line to your heart where dreams and destiny and desires call out to you? what if what you do in your office has everything to do with who God made you to be and the people you care about and the way you just know Hes using to intercede for His heart? how do you separate work and life then?
im not good at it. im not an adult. i cant be professional in one setting and personal in another. i dont know how to “turn it off,” this intercessor heart, carrying the cries and the burdens and the spiritual baggages of my friends and coworkers and communities that make up my work.
sigh
when i first started hearing that there are such thing as spiritual sensitivity, that you can “pick up” on whats going on in the spirit and pray em out, that i can release the cries of Gods heart back to Him, it changed my life. and it helped me get through my ethnic studies classes because otherwise i wouldve been sent to see a shrink. there were times when i couldnt stop crying during classes not knowing what the hell is happening to me. there were times i felt the crushing burden of “the lost” who didnt have a voice to talk to God. there were times i couldnt breathe because the voices questioning the goodness of God, hundreds and thousands and millions of dead native americans in the hands of “missionaries,” generations of women beaten and raped and spat on and murdered by bible holding men of every culture, brown and black people youth us dancing shouting stomping with fists in the air wondering in our self determination richard aoki malcolm x gloria anzaldua angela davis if theres such thing as a god for ppl of color and not white mans eyes and beard
even now
i cant write. i want to be done. i dont know if i can finish this post
but i gotta. i got to. i need to say it out loud so that i remain sane
Jesus i need to know
that you care just as much as i do and more
not only care but you actually exist here. in my office in my center on my campus with the communities next to me
that you came for ppl like us. that if you were on earth again that you would seek out us. that you call us home

work is life. job is Jesus. ideology is task is interns is soul is mtg is debate is ethnic studies is student gov election is conference call is intercession is house rent is me

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