October 12, 2009 § 1 Comment

this thought is an recurring one:
i know very little about neurotransmitters and chemicals, but what i do know for sure is how caffeine makes my body so very much happy.
maybe other drug trips are the same experience, just more intense. every time you take a hit somehow the world comes into focus, lines become sharper sounds clearer ideas move faster dreams take on the sweeter forms and ppl look a tad bit more beautiful. and the thoughts elevate. or at least for me, sorry you whose minds are stuck on things of the flesh.
you start seeing connections, between what your ethnic studies professors said about nation-state identity and your gay friends latest heartbreak and your own fight with God because He hasnt been making sense. your heart starts singing joy. your mom starts sounding more loving that annoying. only if the chemical effects lasted forever right?
now this is the interesting part. what do we know about the oracles in the old days? the shamans the spirit walkers the prophetesses? yes we say its a common knowledge that they inhale hallucinogens and see horses rainbows corpses fields volcanoes faces of gods that communities interpret as signs for the future. well im no shaman. but there is a prophetic in every child of God. and no im not saying drugs help you get closer to the divine. hah 420 friendly hippies would love to argue that.
im just wondering what it wouldve been like. to be chosen at an early age as the seer the voice the channel of the gods, separated from the normal life of mortals in eating in wearing in sleeping in working, learning to enter the holiest of holies naked clothes drugged sober minded scared excited as world known to human life comes crashing down, being possessed by the spirits whatever they are (no way of discerning if you dont know Jesus poor souls) to see feel hear taste things unrevealed to us things we werent meant to have access to. isnt that amazing
who knows what they had seen? what breathtaking beauties horrors their eyes beheld. voices like rushing water lightening blinding glory blazing fire that burns to the bones wailings so terrible stenches of dying bodies wars in heaven and in earth forces indescribable pleasures forevermore who knows. they are in many ways more real and more important than homo erectus fossils and industrial revolution. these are the creatures of darkness the shadow children the beast that gloria anzaldua talks about. i used to say if i were born just a century ago i would no doubt be tried and convicted and burned as a heretic witch. but thats another story for another day.
caffeine doesnt bring me closer to God. Jesus does. but its something worthy to think about. what it means to encounter the Spirit of the living God, just as i am, scared shitless but heart racing brain racing excited. every time we take a hit, we come to life. the secrets the mysteries the depth of this supreme being are revealed to us. through dreams through Words through battlestar galactica episodes and taylor swift songs. what remained a privilege of those ancient oracles is now a right for me. im a royal heir. the Kingdom is mine. and this living water high doesnt run dry.
i love caffeine.


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